WHY I CAN’T FİND MY OWN
Why can’t we learn what we are in life, what we will be, when we are born? I don’t understand how people find their own way and improve themselves in the best way possible. Why am I still here, what is my purpose in life, what makes me happy, what I enjoy doing, I am in this quest. I say exactly I found it, I can improve now. Then I start to lose interest. Since the quarantine started I have played guitar, drew, sewed, exercised, practiced yoga, meditated, but I was not interested in any of them for more than a few weeks. I don’t understand what kind of problem there is, I am looking for a way in life. Whereas those of my age find their way and take firm steps forward on that path. I feel like I’m late to live, plan, learn, etc. to things.
A Turkish musician says that if Alice hadn’t been bored, she wouldn’t have found the wonderland. I’ve been bored for months. But I still haven’t found my wonderland. I wish the rabbit would come and take me and take me to the wonderland if I knew what I wanted and knew what to do, most importantly if I knew myself.
Of course I have a lot to be thankful for. But even the things I am thankful for do not give me happiness when I don’t know where to start. I want to leave something after I die. Like Jo in little women. I want my children and even their children to see what I have achieved. But what can I leave to other people when I don’t know myself and don’t know what I want.
For example, I am at university, but if you ask, what is the connection with your department? I do not know. It is certain that it is a very special profession. But how does it suit me? How satisfied are you with me? I do not know. While I can’t even imagine myself in that profession, I don’t know how to get a master’s degree.
That’s why I created this place, actually, I want to worry about myself. I want to understand, who knows, maybe I will find my way one day. And I want to be with me in this process. I want you to help me and I even want to listen to your stories. How people have found themselves, these are the things I wonder the most, maybe you can help me find my way. Stay with love. Thank you for reading.
